Childless by Choice

Let me start off by saying that I love kids. I've been a teacher for 17 years, I genuinely enjoy my friends' kids, and I absolutely adore my Very Precious Godson! Despite all this, however, I have never wanted kids of my own.

I must either be a genius with birth control or barren, and I'm ok either way. I've never even had a real pregnancy scare. A couple of years ago, a very dear (but evil) co-worker made me think I might be pregnant because I was a day late and nauseated. All day I thought about how I was carrying another Damien, so I stopped at the drug store on the way home to purchase two pregnancy tests. When my husband got home, I was in the middle of test one. He asked me what I was doing and I replied, "Mary says I'm pregnant so I'm peeing on a stick to see if I have Satan's child in me." He seemed perplexed, and I continued explaining myself while I waited for the results. "I'm late and Mary thinks I'm pregnant, so I'm taking a test. What if I'm pregnant?" His way too calm response was, "Maybe if, despite our efforts to the contrary, you are pregnant, we should take it as a sign from God." My response, "Or the devil." (I'm nothing if not optimistic!) I was lying on the sofa feeling my abdomen and told my husband I felt a hoof. He, for some inexplicable reason, thought I was crazy and told me so. I said, "Did you hear that A.C. (anti-Christ), Daddy doesn't love me and I'm a single parent." About that time, the timer buzzed, and we went to check the test, which was, of course, negative. Just to be safe, I took the other one the next morning and it was negative too.

I know that some people are suspicious of this decision, and it puts me forever out of the Mommy Club, but my biological clock has just never demanded my attention. The other day, a 16 year old student of mine who is pregnant for the second time started asking me questions about pregnancy.

Kid: My back hurts and I'm tired. Is that normal?
Me: I don't know. I've never been pregnant.
Kid: What??!! On purpose???? How old are you?
Me: Yes, on purpose, and I'm 40.
Kid: Wow!

So, I know I'm being judged by society in general and one particular idiot specifically, but I have made the choice that's best for me, and I'm happy with it!